Are you generating or nurturing leads? With Jewel Hohman
“With the market research, I created what my clients wanted.”
I’m so excited to share this episode with my friend and Business Genius Bootcamp alumna, Jewel Hohman. Jewel is a life coach who has helped over 50 people enjoy who they are in social interactions, feel more authentic, and create meaningful friendships through science and trauma-informed coaching. Throughout our conversation not only are we breaking the stigma that comes with feeling like it’s hard to make friends, but Jewel is also sharing her biggest Strategy Snacks (or cake pops as she put it!) that helped her grow her business to be something that wholly supports her.
Topics:
Eliminating the shame that so many of us feel when we find ourselves struggling to make friends
How being a business owner can help us overcome rejection, whether it’s professionally or personally
How Business Genius Bootcamp helped Jewel to move past the plateau she was stuck on in business
The importance of operating from an intentional business strategy rather than relying on mindset
Lead nurturing vs. lead generation and when to focus on which action
The reminder you can use historical data as market research
Episode Resources:
- Join the interest list for Business Genius Bootcamp
About Jewel:
Jewel Hohman has helped over 50 people enjoy who they are in social interactions, feel more authentic, and create meaningful friendships through science and trauma-informed coaching.
For more from Jewel, be sure to:
- Check out her website.
- Follow her on Instagram @connectionwithjewel
For more, make sure to:
- Follow me on Instagram @frenchie.ferenczi
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Frenchie: [00:00:00] Yeah.
Hello. Hello. And welcome back to strategy snacks today. I am so, so, so excited because we are joined by Jewel Homan, who is a friendship and authenticity coach and also an alum of business genius bootcamp. I got to meet Jewel kind of through the online, you know, spaces, um, this year in 2023. And. I'm so glad we connected.
I love what she's doing. I love the impact that she's having on people. So Jewel, welcome. I would love if you would just tell our listeners a little bit more about you.
Jewel: Yeah. Thank you, Frenchie. So I, using like evidence based and trauma informed practices, like I can't help it. I have a degree in psychology and sociology.
I've been obsessed with people in communities forever. Uh, but using those practices, I help people. show up to socializing where they feel authentic and they actually enjoy like being [00:01:00] themselves and I help them connect more meaningfully with other people. And make meaningful friendships. A lot of us know how to meet people.
We don't know how to really take it to that next level and like make a friend. Right. So, um, that is what I do. I've been doing it for like four years now. I love it. I'm obsessed with it. I was hyper focusing a little bit too much today, learning even more about it. Like there's so much, but, but yeah, that's what I
Frenchie: do.
That's amazing. I mean, just as, like, someone who personally, especially, like, in my post college years just struggled with being an adult and making friends, even when I moved back to the city that I grew up in, you know, I had technically a community and all of that, like, I can't imagine what it would have been like for me if I had moved to a city or a place where I didn't know people and I had to really start from scratch and I didn't know my way around and all of that.
Um, so I think it's so important and, like, I guess, [00:02:00] you know, before we get into our questions, I think one question I have for you is like, do you think sometimes people feel a little bit of shame around the fact that it is hard for them to make friends?
Jewel: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I did myself as well. Like I was in such a denial about it, especially because I always like had friends around me, but I didn't have like the meaningful.
Bonds that I wanted especially when I left college, which is so normal um That's like a stage that we go through like in our like late 20s like early 30s As we're building our careers and our families and stuff like that. So I was like, yeah, I had so much shame around it. I think intrinsically we think, oh, this is something I should just know and have.
And if I don't, I'm weird or awkward or, right? Like something's off and that is not the case at all. Every friendship really, like, has three things. There's a science to it. And once we learn that, it's so much easier to create and to [00:03:00] have and, like, it really just eliminates the shame out of it because, yeah, it is just not something that, quote unquote, we should have just figured out, like, on our own.
Frenchie: Totally. Definitely that. Totally. And I, like, I'm so fascinated by the topic for a couple reasons. One, I think that we spend A lot of our time and energy focusing on finding a partner, right, which is great and wonderful and I love my husband and I'm glad I'm married to him, but I actually remember, this is a fun story, so I was in, um, my husband and I did premarital counseling and that was something that I felt really strongly about because I was like, there's things that you just don't think to talk about when you're in the like premarital phase.
And in one of our last sessions, our therapist had us do like sand play, which is like, Essentially what they use in like child therapy and you put like figurines and sand and you kind of like map out your ideal life. So our therapist has us do this and it's kind of like, um, that game show for married couples, right?
So he does his, I do mine, and then we like compare and contrast. And [00:04:00] mine had like a big community of friends in it. His did not, like it was not a priority for him. He's kind of just like, that's the type of guy that he is. And for me, it was really important. And so it actually like was a really important conversation point for us because I was like, this is actually something that I care about.
I love my relationship with you. And also I need more than that. And I really need to invest that time and energy in making that happen. Um, and it was hard. I mean, it didn't get easy for me until I had kids and then my kids went to school and then I had like a nut, like kind of like college, another built in network.
But if I were going back into a place where I didn't know anyone or I didn't have that built in network, it would be really hard for me and I would immediately be calling you. So anyways, I'm glad you, that's a long way to say, I'm really glad you do what you do. And, um, now let's roll into kind of like our official strategy snacks questions, but I couldn't help myself and just dig in a little bit more.
Jewel: Yes. No, I think that's so good to share. And I just want to say too, that makes me so happy to hear because. [00:05:00] Something that I've been really focusing on and marketing. I don't have kids myself. I have friends that have kids, but is marketing more to parents. And, uh, because right now, actually, I wrote it down earlier today, 32 percent of parents report struggling with loneliness and isolation.
So a lot of people, right? Like if you are meeting people at drop off and you're building that connection and you actually enjoy it. See. Like, that's amazing. So I love to help people like actually enjoy those moments where they can build that network. Cause so many people are like, no, it's just easier for me to stay in my car or I'm tired.
I don't have energy, but it gives us so much more energy to go and to build that network. I could go on about it forever, but that's, that's something that. I just think it's so amazing. I'm so glad you shared with everybody. Cause it's such like an applicable way for them to go ahead and do that themselves, a different kind of strategy snack.
Yeah,
Frenchie: it's still important. Um, okay. [00:06:00] So now kind of rolling into our official strategies, next questions, you know, you run a business, you mentioned you've been doing this for four years over the past four years, but it's been kind of one of the most monumental or kind of important, exciting moments in your business journey.
Yeah,
Jewel: well, I think honestly, of course it's, I, I mean, without a doubt, it's my, my clients and watching them even like show up to the calls in a different energy where they, I can tell they just feel so much more relaxed and they like have so much more fun. Like one of my favorite things that like. Like, people say to me, they're like, I didn't realize how funny I was before this, right?
But, as far as, like, being a business owner goes, I would say my most, like, monumental win was when I realized I could support myself on this, like, income. Like, when it was so scary. Uh, like moving out and [00:07:00] moving into a place where I was literally like paying rent and not just from like a job that I've had, where I know I'm going to get like a paycheck every couple of weeks, but from my business, that was mind blowing to me, it was.
It's absolutely amazing, so
Frenchie: I have to say that. I also imagine, unless you have like the coolest, most supportive family ever, that people are like, wait, you're going to make money helping people make friends. Yes. No offense to your family, like I'm just saying this, I think this is like a pretty common place that like people like the trades and they like to know that you're going into like the secure path.
So the fact that you could really build that for yourself is amazing. Thank
Jewel: you. And that's actually such a good point. So I wrote about this recently. I found out that a friend group that I had in college, like they were making fun of me for like posting and making fun of my business. Um, so which is like, everybody has a moment like that.
And like, [00:08:00] It's being able to do the work that I do. I knew how to navigate that rejection, but I will say it made that moment of like moving out like so much sweeter. Like I was like, oh,
Frenchie: yeah. Oh my gosh. Of course I have a theory. This is unproven, but I have a theory. That, so I talk a lot about this idea of the why and having like a real and honest why behind your business.
Right. And I think that there's the marketing why, which is like the beautifully poetic, like I help blank do blank. So that blank, you know, whatever. Cool. But then it's like, what is getting you out of bed in the morning? And I have a theory that it's one of four things, okay. Power, money, status, or revenge.
And sometimes a combination of those four things. So that like little revenge piece of like proving others wrong feels amazing. You need to talk about it more. Yes, I love that. Um, okay, so on the flip side of that, on this journey, what has been kind of one of the bigger, harder lessons to learn along the way?
Jewel: Honestly, and this was before I, [00:09:00] uh, not to like turn this whole thing into like a testimonial for business genius, but yeah, but before I straight up Frenchie I have this memory of sitting at my kitchen table at my counter and I was like, had just gotten crying. My partner came home from work and I was like, I don't know what to do.
Like I've been at this level and I can like sustain this level. And that's about it. Like, I don't know what to do to go forward. Like I knew I wanted to like start a group. I've been working with people one on one for years. Uh, like my program honestly is down to an art, but there's like a cap with that.
And I didn't want to like just because people would just say like charge more. And I was like, that's not a satisfying enough answer to me. You know what I mean? I was like, I don't want to just charge more. I love, like I operate from like a sliding scale. Um, so I have different price points anyway for people that are in different [00:10:00] situations.
I love that. I'm not giving that up. So I was like, I don't know what to do. And getting your emails where you were explaining, like, do the right work at the right time for like what you want and what you want to build. I, it was like, you stepped into my brain and took what I was like struggling with, because again, I had that moment where I was.
At the kitchen table, like just got done crying, talking to my partner and I was like, I don't know what to do going forward. So my biggest, uh, I don't know, I guess this is like also a monumental win, but like the real big like strategy I think for me is to really operate from a strategy. Because the strategy I had up until that point was right.
Like grow your mindset, grow your mindset. Like that was what was being pumped out. I feel like it is pumped out a lot and don't get me wrong. Mindset is really important. However, [00:11:00] it felt like I was just throwing spaghetti at the wall. Like I was just aimlessly like walking around and having a long term strategy where I can be like, okay, right now I need to do.
Like lead generation work, right, so that way I could sell at this group. And then once I do that, right, I want to, uh, make sure my delivery is good. And then, like, I have my whole year planned out for next year for what I want to create, what I want to do. And, like, I have ADHD, like, so bad. Um, and I, this is something that I have kept since we've done it in business genius bootcamp and I have not altered it or changed it at all, not that I'm willing to like move around like months or anything, but I haven't changed it at all because it's like, okay, yes, like this is what I need to do to take a step forward.
I also think like a really big. breakthrough that I had, which is really small. So it's like, [00:12:00] like a little like strategy cake pop bite. Like it is, was understanding that there was a difference between lead generation and nurturing people. I think I was doing so much. nurture and don't get me wrong, that definitely created business for me, but I was doing so much, so, so much posting, so much content creation.
I was like connecting with people that I already had in my network and I wasn't doing anything to get myself. Not that I wasn't doing anything, but I really wasn't focusing on getting my message in front of other audiences. And so understanding that lead generation is also like almost like an outward thing to like get in front of other people.
That alone was like mind blowing to me because I was like, oh, like all I've just been doing is like nurturing. Like no wonder I like don't have like as much demand for like the group that I would want.
Frenchie: So [00:13:00] yeah, that's yeah, I could go on forever about that. Well, I love it. And also just, you know, to our listeners, I swear I didn't pay you to say this or anything that you just said.
No, but I think it's so important because I think, you know, obviously my hypothesis is that this is a problem for a lot of us is that, you know, okay, yes, you like pump up your mindset. And before I know the mindset police might come after me for this one, but. My overall philosophy on it is like you need to work on your mindset, but part of working on your mindset is building the evidence to disprove it, right, and to build the evidence you need to take action, right, it's not just, like, it's not just happening in your head, it happens outside of your head, it happens in the choices you make and the steps you actually take, um, so, you know, I'm glad that you did that work because I think that when that work is Like there, it sets such a strong foundation, but then like now you get to build the business and you get to take the steps to do it.
So I'm super excited for you. You were like, just gonna, I'm so excited for 2024 and you, um, okay. And [00:14:00] last, but certainly not least, what is one strategy snack that you want to share with our listeners? Yeah. So,
Jewel: and this was not planned. I like, I had something kind of like different in mind, but. I, so what you just said, right?
Like the mindset piece, like I really feel like before, and I was so proud of this. I still am proud of this, but I think my business grew and I did really well, especially in the first couple of years without honestly knowing a lick of like marketing or business, like not knowing a dang thing about it.
And I think it did really well because I felt really connected to my people. Now, granted my businesses. I would argue has like a little bit more of like an emotional lens. Like it's not like go out there, like make a bunch of money. It's like, let's go out there and feel great about yourself and feel like you belong and make meaningful friendships.
Like that's a little different vibe to that. But I think feeling so connected to people that when I would network [00:15:00] with people that I, when I'd have like coffee chats with people, I would meet with them and I'd be so interested and like curious about them. I'd be curious about my audience and. I did really well in my first couple of years of business just doing that.
And the mindset behind that was like, I just, just caring about other people and having like emotional capacity to do that, um, that was so helpful for me. And then taking the strategy. From it now, because I feel like, again, as I was just telling you that story about me at the kitchen table, Now, it's like, okay, now I, I know what I
Frenchie: need to do.
Hang on one second, sorry. Editors, we're gonna have to pause here, because my kid just stormed the room. It's Jewel. Are you gonna go watch TV now? Um, no. Alright, did you eat your cookie?
Jewel: Yeah. I dropped
Frenchie: some cheese. I know. It's a little crumbly. Okay, go watch TV. I'm going to finish my call and then I'll come hang out.[00:16:00]
I will. Go, go, go and close the door, please.
Amazing. I love it. Okay, and last but not least, what is one strategy snack that you want to share with our listeners?
Jewel: Yeah, so kind of like I just said with that moment at the kitchen table, I, like, and what you just said about mindset and stuff as well, like, I really think, like, mindset helped me so much in the beginning because I really, and like, it was like, honestly, a mindset of connection.
Like, I was just really thinking about my people. When I would network with people, when I would have coffee chats with people, just a lot of care for my people, a lot of connection for my people. And I really think that, especially for the first couple of years, as I was just going, getting started. And even though I didn't know a lick about business, that that helped me so much.
And now it was like, okay, I need a strategy to go forward. And then I can work on my mindset to. [00:17:00] Like follow through with that strategy. But I found two, one thing that I heard somebody talking about the other day was market research and like making sure you are getting what your people want. And I was like, Oh, I need to go like do like a market research project.
And then I was like, wait, I have like, like a whole backlog of like notes and things that people have said to, like, I have been unintentionally like, no, I should say unintentionally, but. I was unaware that I was doing market research for four years, where I was writing down what people were saying, because I was so interested in my client and Like when people go through my program, like all of my clients are like, it feels like you made this just for me.
Right? Like, it feels so good for that. People will like DM me and be like, it feels like you were in my brain. And honestly, too, that's how I [00:18:00] became a client of yours was I was like, Oh, this person really gets me. And then when I went to your workshop, I was like, Oh, this also, this person really gets me, understands me.
And this person also cares about me and the other people here. And. That alone, like I never, especially because. I was like, I really thought for sure, um, I was going to be a full time therapist, which yeah, I'm in grad school, but I don't want to be a full time therapist. But, um, I really thought for sure that's what I was going to do.
And this was just going to be my fun hobby thing. So I think also I just wasn't in a mindset to try to like get things from people, but just being really about my people. Um, because again, that market research. I created what they wanted, and I, like, learned incessantly, like, so much about what they wanted and what they were saying.
Like, if a client said to me, I can be fine in social situations, but when I [00:19:00] leave, and the overthinking starts, and then I'm in, like, my bed at night, like, I listen to so many stories like that, and so I created, like, the social after kit. Aftercare kit for them and that was because I was listening and so intently like interested in them and what they needed.
So that would be my strategy stack. And then. Growing farther, like my own strategy snack for like myself is really just the strategy that you taught in business genius
Frenchie: bootcamp. Thank you. Amazing. Okay. So to everyone listening who is like, how do I connect with jewel? I wanted to know more about making friends and really building those relationships.
Where can people find you and connect with you? Um, and all those good things.
Jewel: Yeah, so, uh, at connection with Jewel, like J E W E L, like a gem, um, all over like social media, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, uh, connection with Jewel. [00:20:00] My website is being redesigned right now, but, uh, that will also be connection with Jewel and Jewelholman.
com. So there's that. I am also, uh, depending on like when this comes out, I am speaking at the largest women's conference in Michigan, which is so cool. It's where I'm from, America's high five. But I, that will be at the end of April. It's called empower her. Um, so then there's going to be so many people there.
So if you are in the area by chance to come say hi for sure. It'll be amazing. Cool.
Frenchie: Cool. I love it. And we'll link all of that in the show notes so that you, um, you know, anyone listening can just go get it. Jewel, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your experience. I'm so grateful for you and getting to know you.
And I am so excited for anyone who gets to learn from you and, you know, build their own friendships and community thanks to every, thanks to the work that you do.
Jewel: Thank you. so [00:21:00] much for having me and for everything else that you
Frenchie: have done for me. Thank you.